Prayers, Noodling, Hog Hunting, and Speeding in Texas

2 September 2011

Prayers, Noodling, Hog Hunting, and Speeding in Texas

Our lovely governor, Rick Perry is sure to be the next political laughing stock of America, just like his predecessor, George W.  

Last month he organized a prayer and fasting summit in Houston because according to him, "Right now, America is in crisis: we have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank Him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy."   He partnered with the American Family Association which is essentially a homophobic religious organization that thinks it is protecting all of us and our families by trying to prevent loving, consenting adults from marrying each other if they happen to have a sexual orientation that is not hetero.  Sadly, I read that the APA has a following of at least 2 million people who also prefer to propagate intolerance and hatred in the name of "Jesus Christ." 

It isn't really that shocking to know that Perry would team up with an organization like this, as he is outwardly an opponent of same-sex marriage.  According to Wikipedia, Perry has drawn parallels between homosexuality and alcoholism regarding a choice to engage in the lifestyle, and writing that he is “no expert on the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate,” but that gays should simply choose abstinence.  He also described the Texas same-sex anti-sodomy law "appropriate."

Many thought that his prayer summit was a pretty cheesy way to garner support from religious Christians.  C. Weldon Gaddy, a Baptist minister in DC said, "I think the people of Texas elected him to be the governor of the state, not the pastor of the state."  Good point.  Clearly Rick Perry forgot about how the wise founding fathers of this country wrote about the separation of church and state.  Many felt that he was exclusionary to other religious inclinations.  If the governor of state as diverse as Texas wants to have a prayer summit, shouldn't he make it non-denominational?  Or perhaps invite  leaders from other popular religions?

The gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community was rightfully upset about this prayer summit in August.  The president of the Human Rights Campaign said, "Governor Perry has called on governors from all other states to join him in recognizing the day of prayer.  HRC is calling on governors across the nation to not support the August 6th event, and take a stand against the hijacking of religious values by those who actively work to suppress LGBT Americans."  I couldn't agree more.  There is nothing more lowly that using religion to propagate hatred.  Ask yourself WWJD?  I hardly think he would have been down with this event.  Jesus (the man, not the god) was probably a loving hippie guy who would have laughed at Perry. 

We had some other Rick Perry triumphs this very week when he spent the states money passing some fantastic new laws.  The one that is least newsworthy is the new 85 mph speed limit permitted on some highways.  I might actually like this one; hopefully now I will stop getting pulled over when I drive to Austin. 

Get excited for the next law though!  I know you've been waiting years to be able to "noodle" fish.  It sounds like an act that should be as punishable as gay sodomy, but no, not in Texas.  Now you can get down with the rednecks and grab catfish out of their mud-hole homes in lakes across the great state.  Yup, that is what noodling is...in fact you actually want to let the catfish bite into your hand, pull your hand out with fish still there, and then wrestle him off.  Sounds like fun, eh?

I know you were happy enough with the noodling law, but the hunt doesn't stop there because we have the "pork chopper law."  Starting yesterday, it is now legal to fly in a helicopter and shoot pigs below with semi-automatic rifles.  Apparently this is done to combat hog overpopulation, but what if a person happens to be out there frolicking with the piggies and gets caught in the crossfire?  According to one of the owners of the company, "Just shooting them and trapping them onesie, twosie is not working very well."  Ah, I love the Texas language.

He also signed to uphold a law that forces any establishment in Texas with a stripper pole to charge each customer an extra $5 a head.  The strip joints have fought this on the free speech grounds but no luck so far.  The law has already brought in $15 million since it started in 2007.  I wish they would put those funds into women's healthcare or something worthwhile, instead it probably funded the prayer party instead.

This law makes no sense to me.  He has made a fast-lane handgun line.  If you are a Texan with a permit to carry a concealed weapon, all you have to do when you want to enter the Capital building in Austin is show your permit and you can bypass the metal detectors without having to show their concealed, top secret gun.  I am sorry, but wouldn't the people who work in the Capital building, including Perry, want to know if someone was coming in with more than just a gun strapped to him.  Post-9/11, I am surprised this law would even be fathomable.  If you're curious, Perry himself packs a .380 Ruger pistol. 

There was one victory this week though and this one is close to my heart.  Earlier this year, a bill was passed in Texas that would mandate that all women who wished to undergo pregnancy termination must present 24 hours before the procedure for an ultrasound.  This ultrasound had to be performed by the physician who would be doing the procedure the following day.  Women would be forced to watch the ultrasound and hear descriptions of the fetus.  In other words, it was just a way to guilt trip and in my opinion, emotionally abuse, these women who were already going through something incredibly upsetting and difficult.  It also would work to deter physicians who practice abortions because it forces them to allow two days out of their schedule to work at an abortion clinic; one day to do ultrasounds (that otherwise would be done by a sonographer) and one day to do procedures. 

After this bill was initially passed (and for the record, Texas wouldn't have been the only state with such a bill), an appeal was immediately filed.  The resolution of this appeal was decided this week.  The ruling still upheld that ultrasounds needed to be performed, but women would not be forced to watch it and hear descriptions.  Perry, of course, was not a fan of this ruling.  He said, "Every life lost to abortion is a tragedy and today’s ruling is a great disappointment to all Texans who stand in defense of life."  He plans to appeal the ruling yet again.

I just hope that, unlike former Texas governor, George W, that Rick Perry doesn't successfully get the chance to run for president.  It disturbs me to know that so far he has become the front-runner in the Republican Party.  In a recent poll he was beating Mitt Romney by 13 points.  I think I'd rather have Sara Palin running the country than Rick Perry.  I seriously will flee the country if he ever gets his bigoted self into the White House.

Cowboys, Guns and Jesus

Today I experienced the Texas trifecta: Guns, Cowboys & Jesus. It started this morning in the doctors lounge at the hospital. I eavesdropped on a conversation between a gynecologist and a few anesthesiologists. This one particular gynecologist has a love for not only vaginas but guns as well. Turns out he even has a federal license to sell guns. He was chatting with these anesthesiologists about the next gun show they'd attend. They excitedly planned out their gun table: the anesthesiologist would be in charge of selling the scopes, they'd have a lovely little glass case for their pistols and they could use some neat little iPhone app to charge the other gun lover's credit cards. I wouldn't be surprised if conversations like this go on all over Texas on any given day, but I perhaps I thought that the more learned brains of physicians wouldn't be sullied by gun fantasies. I suppose I give physicians the benefits of the doubt, thought that maybe they'd rather use their excess cash to fund a medical mission to Africa, take a golf vacation in Scotland, send their kids to private school, or even just pay for a new set of replacement silicone implants for their wives (I always hear that silicone is way more life-like than saline.) I know that its not guns that kill, its people with guns that kill, but I still don't know how one can sleep at night being a firearms vendor. I think I'd feel a sense of responsibility.

Just this past week a 6-year old boy in Houston brought a gun into school. A few days before these doctors discussed their next gun show, flat screen TVs in the very same lounge where they sat today were broadcasting news about this school shooting, wondering if it was done as some sort of copycat shooting during the anniversary of the Columbine massacre in April 11 years ago. I later read in the Houston Chronicle that the 6 year old boy had gotten the gun from some family friend and bought it into school to show off to his friends. He took it out of his pocket and the loaded gun went off by accident. He literally shot himself in the foot and the other bullets ricocheted off the floor and injured a couple other kids. Obviously the irresponsible adults were to blame for leaving a loaded gun accessible to a child. I am sure that the gun-selling doctor would say that if a man wants to buy a gun, he's going to buy it from someone somewhere, so it might as well be from him. I just can't imagine that a vendor wouldn't feel some sort of responsibility knowing that the gun he sold resulted in a death or injury. As much as I try to be open to the idea of gun wielding, I guess I still can't quite support it. I still think guns should be heavily restricted in their sales, use, and ability to be carried. I could easily write a novel on my sentiments of this subject so I shall save that for a later date. Suffice to say, guns are held to be something of a Texas national pride and my liberal ways will likely never warm to this.

I suppose the cowboys all carried guns, and the cowboy ways of old have surely shaped Texans into who they are today. I guess if I lived in a remote cattle ranch a hundred years ago, I might want a gun to defend my land and my cattle from trespassers and predators. Texas is still famous for being the land of cowboys. Every year in March the Houstonians celebrate the Houston Rodeo month by proudly wearing western gear. They have gone as far as calling one particular day "Go Texan Day" where everyone, even hospital staff, dons western clothing head to toe. This year I happened to catch the wagon ride. Dozens of pioneer-type horse drawn wagons rode 100+ miles to arrive in Houston and celebrate their Texan-ness. I'll be the first to admit that I wore my boots with pleasure! The rodeo times of March are behind us now, most of the gear has been placed back in the Texans closets, only to come out for country music concerts or special occasions. I thought of the cowboys today when I was driving behind an over-sized SUV bearing a sticker for the Fellowship of Christian Cowboys. It had a silly slogan, something like "Jesus dun love us too!" The mission of their organization: "Our desire is to use cowboys, cowgirls, and our rich western heritage to reach across this great nation spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ." For a minimum of $45, you two can become an evangelical cowboy! (http://www.christiancowboys.com/index.html)

Jesus-loving cowboys, a perfect transition to the third and final element to the Texas trifecta: God. Religion, namely Christianity, is much more outwardly shared in Texas than the northeast or the west. "God bless" is said often and freely. We have a Jesus TV channel and a Jesus radio station. There are many Jesus loving bumper stickers on the back of pick-up trucks in Texas. I have even seen some vehicles with bilingual Jesus bumper stickers. Crucifix pendants are popular accessories. Houston police direct traffic around the churches on Sunday mornings. We even have mega-churches the size of corporate buildings scattered around town.

Today I had a visit from two Jehovah's witnesses. As I pulled into my driveway I noticed people getting out of a pair of cars. These people were dressed up in ties and business casual clothing. I wondered if they might be there to look at the empty apartment above me. A few moments after there was a knock on the door and there they were. They said that they had seen me pull into the house so they knew I was home...sneaky little bastards! They cut to the chase and told me they were here to tell me about Jehovah. I told them that I was quite familiar with their religion as I have had many patients who are Jehovah's witnesses, refusing blood transfusions for their religious beliefs. The man immediately apologized for that, he said he could understand how frustrating that must be for the medical profession. I told them that I would take their brochure but that I was strongly atheist so there wasn't much they could do.

The younger of the two men had been doing most of the talking up until that point, but the older man stepped up further onto my front stoop to try his hand at saving me from damnation. He asked why I was atheist. I wasn't looking for a three hour discussion so I kept it brief and said that I simply did not think that there was any logical explanation for god and that I also disliked how religions all of the world have killed and maimed in the name of god. They both promised me that Jesus has never killed anyone and was peaceful. They also said that Mohammed was a warrior so that is why Muslims are prone to fighting. The older man asked me how I could explain the complexity of the galaxies and millions of stars in the sky or the beauty in the photographs on my wall if it wasn't made by god. At that time I brought over my bible, Richard Dawkin's "God Delusion", and told him that if he wanted the answers to these questions, he should read this book. I briefly mentioned that Darwinism was central to Dawkin's argument against god. He responded that many people have said that Darwin was wrong. I countered that many have tried to refute Darwin's theory for decades but no one has succeeded in breaking them down. I think we all knew we were fighting a losing battle here. They truly did seem to appreciate my time and I got the feeling that most people throw them off the doorstep before they even get a word out. They left me with their cartoonism Watchtower booklet which has goofy grinning renditions of Jesus, Mary and Martha yucking it up at the resurrection. I also got an additional booklet called "Awake!" The November 2010 edition was all about Atheism. "Is Atheism on the march?" the front cover asked. Other highlights from inside included the following articles, "I was raised an atheist," "Is it appropriate to pray to saints?" and "The Macadamia nut, Australia's native delicacy, as well as a short blurb, "Was it designed? The eye of the peacock mantis shrimp." All sure to be amusing reads. Ahh, the joys of Texas living...

You know you are in the Bible belt when…

3 August 2010

You know you are in the Bible belt when…

Now that my apartment in Houston is finally set up, I figured I’d pretend to be a normal American and eat my dinner in front of the TV. Mind you, I don’t subscribe to cable TV. Instead, I have an antenna that picks up a random mix of basic TV networks. I somehow landed on a channel called JCTV. This stands for “Jesus Christ Television.” I caught the end of a program that was one of these action reality shows, like those TLC or Discovery Channel programs where the people travel to remote parts of the world and undertake daring feats. However in this case, the characters were Christian missionaries and they were going to all different parts of the world to convert native people. The episode I watched took place in Tibet. They seemed to think they were the first ones to bring the concept of Christianity to Tibet. Clips from upcoming episodes showed these cool dudes trekking through the tundra and sub-Saharan Africa to spread the good word.

Next it was time for Christian music videos. I think that even us non-Christians have heard Christian rock tunes on the radio before. This network had rock songs and love ballads, it also had Christian rap! There was something strange about seeing big black thug-type guys rapping about Jesus. The name of the song was, “Go Hard for the Lord.” I am used to hearing rappers talk about money, pimps and hoes, not about loving Jesus. You can send me to hell for saying this, but it just seemed wrong to me!! It kind of went against the whole hip-hop philosophy. It also got me wondering just how many kids out there are aspiring to be Christian musicians when they grow up. It just doesn’t seem quite as glamorous as Hollywood!

While watching JCTV I got to see a commercial for Holy Land. This is the Christian “Disney Land” located in Florida. It is filled with buff Fabio looking men playing Jesus, Joseph, Moses and the like. Some of their exhibits include a replica of the cave where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found, a large model of Jerusalem, and a Judean village. Visitors can even spend “A Day in the Life of a Monk” of Medieval times or partake in the last supper with Jesus and his disciples.

I don’t think that in New England we had channels devoted just to Jesus. Watching TV that night, I was quickly reminded that I am in the Bible belt. In the past month that I have been here, I have noticed that the average person is more apt to mention “god” in conversation. Most times they were bring it up in thanks. One family kept saying how gracious god had been to them to allow them to all be together to support my patient before her surgery. It was actually kind of special; they truly seemed so grateful. I have also heard more patients say “god bless you” to me more times I the past month than ever in my first year of residency. Perhaps this means I am finally doing something right with my patients? Or maybe it is my new location of practice. In any case, this liberal atheist will have to adjust to the god-fearing ways of the South.

Go Hard for God video:

Liberals are Just People Who Have Never Been Held Up at Gunpoint

21 July 2010

Liberals are Just People Who Have Never Been Held Up at Gunpoint

It was just a matter of time before I had a conversation about guns in Texas. Texas is probably one of the most NRA loving states in the union…this is, of course, if you consider Texas part of the union…Texas would prefer to succeed and become their own country. In Texas, there is no waiting period for buying a gun, there is no state registration of guns, with proper licensing one can carry a concealed gun, machine guns are legal, and there is no limit to the number of rounds a magazine can hold. It is also legal to shoot someone with your gun in the state of Texas if you feel that your life was endangered or if someone has trespassed on your property. On my first day of residency at Baylor, I even noticed that there were gun signs on the entrances to Baylor College of Medicine. In this case, it was a notification that one could not carry a concealed weapon on the campus…no guns in lecture!

Today I sat in on a very long fetal ultrasound session and had a rather interesting conversation with the husband of the patient. He was big guy: tall and broad. He had a motor mouth that wouldn’t stop talking the entire hour…I might have blamed it on nerves if he just didn’t seem like a character of a man. The entire time he sat there in the chair, he rocked forwards to backwards, like he was all revved up and ready to jump out of his chair and spring into action at any moment. I told him that I had just moved here from the northeast a few weeks ago and he said, “Welcome to the only free state in the union!” He said he hoped that Texas could one day succeed from the union. He asked me how I felt about guns and I said, “Actually I’m packing right now!” He went on to say, “Guns are great! I love guns! Have you ever shot a gun? What kind was it?” He told me how he had just ordered a few t-shirts, one had a picture of a rifle on it and said, “Come and take it!” and the other said, “Liberals are just people who’ve never been held up at gunpoint.” His wife elaborated that he was one robbed at gunpoint. I told him that I did agree with the idea that a traumatic experience could make a person rethink the idea of keeping a gun for self-protection. He said, “Yea well hopefully the first time someone breaks in your house they don’t just shoot you in the head ‘cause then it will be too late to say you should’ve had a gun.”

This man continued to share his little stories. He told us how he wants to start a non-profit where people can donate towards him going out and shooting and killing child murders and child molesters. He said, “If I were going to be a doctor I would be an OBGYN too, I just love babies…” He went on to tell me how he is an instructor for Krav Maga, which is Israeli combat fighting for fitness. I have actually heard many times that this is a fabulous work out and told him I had been looking into it. He said, “Come on down, we’ll show you how it’s done, check out the intro class, I’ll give it to you gratis!” He is hoping that his next career will be as a medic in the army though…he wants to be in the field kickin’ ass and takin’ names.

This man clearly fit the stereotype of the Texan male, but they really do love guns in Texas. One article I read said, “’If you take 17 million people in Texas and multiply that by about three, you've probably got that many guns,’ says Jim Brown, legislative director for the Texas State Rifle Association, basing his estimates on conversations with people throughout the state.” It seems that the idea stems back from the times when Texas was part of the wild west and people needed protection out in the wilderness where the settled their ranches. In fact early settlers usually owned several guns because they wanted one gun in each room. One quote I read said, “If we give up our guns, what's to keep our military from coming in again? Nobody's going to invade my space."

As I lay in bed at my new first floor apartment the other night, listening to the array of unfamiliar sounds outside, I did get to thinking about safety. This was only my second time living by myself in an apartment and the first time was in a quieter suburban town. If someone broke into my apartment while I was sleeping, how would I defend myself? A part of me could see how having a gun in my bedside table would be a comfort. Clearly I am not the only woman that feels this way; an article I read said that women own 20% of the guns in Texas. I was once the staunchest anti-gun activist ever! The first time I held a gun I nearly started crying. In my eyes, guns equaled death. But as someone once told me, guns don’t kill, people do. So I figure I will learn a little more about guns. I plan to take a gun safety class with my friend, Danielle. We’ll see if two Yankees can manage not to humiliate themselves in a class of Texas gun lovers. And when and if I ever get that bedside table gun, you know I have officially converted to Texan!

2000 miles to Texas

11 July 2010

2000 miles to Texas

It was not even a week ago that I hopped on a plane, flying out of one of the northernmost areas in the US, Maine, and landing in one of the most southern, Texas. The differences between these two places were as vast as the 2000 miles between. During my weekend in Maine, we had blue skies and cool breezes while we looked at the dark blue ocean lined by coasts with tall evergreens and old wooden homes. The people drove their SmartCars and hybrid eco-friendly vehicles, the gay couples intermixed with the straights, and the population was largely white.

When I stepped out of the Houston airport to meet my friend, Danielle, I was hit by a wall of heat & humidity. It reminded me of the weather in South East Asia. Houston was about as hot as Cambodia in July. As Danielle drove us back to her house, we shared the highway with Suburbans and large pick-up trucks. The terrain was flat, the landscape mainly concrete with palm trees interspersed. People riding in the cars near us were every race and ethnicity imaginable and many were wearing their cowboy hats. I had officially arrived in Texas.

Danielle and Andrew live in a wealthy area of Houston called West University as it borders on Rice University. This is where the people with oil money have built their mansions. Live oak trees create a canopy over the streets in this neighborhood where many of the homes look like southern plantation and each yard is perfectly manicured.

Later that afternoon we visited my new apartment, which I had not yet seen in person. My neighborhood, Montrose, is quite different than Danielle’s. It is known to be the gay and eclectic neighborhood, plentiful with bars, cafes, and funky antique shops. My apartment is a two-bedroom on the first floor of a beige brick building built sometime in the 1940s. The lot next door is empty and someone had dumped an old mattress and couch on the roadside of the lot. Apparently you can dump your trash on anyone’s property in Houston for later garbage pick up, according to Danielle. Across the street from me were some newly constructed condo buildings that were modern and attractive. As I said, it’s eclectic, but I was excited about my quaint new apartment.

The following day was consumed with orientation business…I walked through the maze of hospitals in the Medical Center to get ID badges, fill out paperwork, and get health clearance. Even though Houston is a very large city, in fact the second largest to Los Angeles, all of the hospitals are concentrated in one area. The Medical Center neighborhood is filled with the likes of MD Anderson, Baylor College, UT-Houston Hermann Memorial, Texas Children’s, St Luke’s Episcopal, LBJ and Ben Taub (both county hospitals), Methodist Hospital, and the DeBakey VA. Walking through this area feels like being in the middle of downtown New York with skyscrapers and busy intersections & sidewalks.

Throughout the day I had been getting phone calls from my moving company. The driver told me that he was already in Houston, and that he felt like he was in a swimming pool with all of the sweating he had been doing. “It very hot here!” he said in his Slavic accent. I got finished work, picked up over a thousand dollars in cash to pay them, and headed to the apartment. When I pulled up, parked outside my apartment was a ridiculously long truck that seemed to take up half of the block. It had not one but two trailers on it. I finally met Ingus and his helper who were from Latvia and just about as stereotypically Eastern European looking as you could imagine. They were both tall, solid and meaty men. Ingus clearly spoke more English than the other guy who was wearing a neon colored cycling cap. They had to take a break in their air-conditioned truck before they were ready to start lifting.

I guess in one week I had already forgotten how much junk I had. I felt baffled as the apartment slowly was filled with stacks of cardboard boxes. The Latvian guys were sweating within minutes. Ingus asked if we could turn on the AC window units. “No electricity yet! Sorry” I said. It wasn’t long before even I was sweating quite heavily just from walking around the apartment.

As the men were unpacking, I noticed a short middle-aged man walking in the front yard, he looked in at the apartment and proceeded to move a garbage can from the roadside back to the side of the apartment. I figured this must be my upstairs neighbor. A few minutes later, the same man came to the front door and introduced himself. It was Larry, my new landlord. He was a small guy about my height but at least 10 lbs lighter. He had a salt and pepper short beard, smelled of BO, and spoke with a South African accent. He told me that he had been in Houston since the 1970s and was a retired “master plumber” and thus assured me I should at least have running water. He lives just a few blocks away in Montrose and doesn’t own a car, he only “peddles” around town. He seemed like a nice guy but his eyes conveyed that slightly distant look that I have only seen in people with psychiatric disorders, past drug use, or perhaps one too many biking accidents. I can now say that I don’t think I have every had a truly normal landlord…from the pot-smoking Bill Nuckles in college, to the slumlords in Lindenwold, the Guidos in Hoboken, and my last landlord in CT who told me he watched me when I ran around town.

Two hours later, the unpacking was finally winding down. Ingus started making conversation with me, he wondered how I had ended up in Houston. I told him my story and how I was starting over in a new place. He had already deduced that I was a doctor from the many boxes labeled, “Medical Books.” He said, “Ugh, I could never live in Texas! Too hot! Terrible!” He told me that the two of them would be leaving in the morning to do more packing and moving in Kansas, Colorado, Nevada, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara and San Francisco before heading back to New York. Even though they had a job of hard labor, I can imagine that they must have met some interesting people and seen most of the US during the 7 years they’d done this. Once they finally left, I was thrilled to go back to Danielle and Andrew’s air-conditioned home and I think that I too, smelled of BO by then.