Prayers, Noodling, Hog Hunting, and Speeding in Texas

2 September 2011

Prayers, Noodling, Hog Hunting, and Speeding in Texas

Our lovely governor, Rick Perry is sure to be the next political laughing stock of America, just like his predecessor, George W.  

Last month he organized a prayer and fasting summit in Houston because according to him, "Right now, America is in crisis: we have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank Him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy."   He partnered with the American Family Association which is essentially a homophobic religious organization that thinks it is protecting all of us and our families by trying to prevent loving, consenting adults from marrying each other if they happen to have a sexual orientation that is not hetero.  Sadly, I read that the APA has a following of at least 2 million people who also prefer to propagate intolerance and hatred in the name of "Jesus Christ." 

It isn't really that shocking to know that Perry would team up with an organization like this, as he is outwardly an opponent of same-sex marriage.  According to Wikipedia, Perry has drawn parallels between homosexuality and alcoholism regarding a choice to engage in the lifestyle, and writing that he is “no expert on the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate,” but that gays should simply choose abstinence.  He also described the Texas same-sex anti-sodomy law "appropriate."

Many thought that his prayer summit was a pretty cheesy way to garner support from religious Christians.  C. Weldon Gaddy, a Baptist minister in DC said, "I think the people of Texas elected him to be the governor of the state, not the pastor of the state."  Good point.  Clearly Rick Perry forgot about how the wise founding fathers of this country wrote about the separation of church and state.  Many felt that he was exclusionary to other religious inclinations.  If the governor of state as diverse as Texas wants to have a prayer summit, shouldn't he make it non-denominational?  Or perhaps invite  leaders from other popular religions?

The gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community was rightfully upset about this prayer summit in August.  The president of the Human Rights Campaign said, "Governor Perry has called on governors from all other states to join him in recognizing the day of prayer.  HRC is calling on governors across the nation to not support the August 6th event, and take a stand against the hijacking of religious values by those who actively work to suppress LGBT Americans."  I couldn't agree more.  There is nothing more lowly that using religion to propagate hatred.  Ask yourself WWJD?  I hardly think he would have been down with this event.  Jesus (the man, not the god) was probably a loving hippie guy who would have laughed at Perry. 

We had some other Rick Perry triumphs this very week when he spent the states money passing some fantastic new laws.  The one that is least newsworthy is the new 85 mph speed limit permitted on some highways.  I might actually like this one; hopefully now I will stop getting pulled over when I drive to Austin. 

Get excited for the next law though!  I know you've been waiting years to be able to "noodle" fish.  It sounds like an act that should be as punishable as gay sodomy, but no, not in Texas.  Now you can get down with the rednecks and grab catfish out of their mud-hole homes in lakes across the great state.  Yup, that is what noodling is...in fact you actually want to let the catfish bite into your hand, pull your hand out with fish still there, and then wrestle him off.  Sounds like fun, eh?

I know you were happy enough with the noodling law, but the hunt doesn't stop there because we have the "pork chopper law."  Starting yesterday, it is now legal to fly in a helicopter and shoot pigs below with semi-automatic rifles.  Apparently this is done to combat hog overpopulation, but what if a person happens to be out there frolicking with the piggies and gets caught in the crossfire?  According to one of the owners of the company, "Just shooting them and trapping them onesie, twosie is not working very well."  Ah, I love the Texas language.

He also signed to uphold a law that forces any establishment in Texas with a stripper pole to charge each customer an extra $5 a head.  The strip joints have fought this on the free speech grounds but no luck so far.  The law has already brought in $15 million since it started in 2007.  I wish they would put those funds into women's healthcare or something worthwhile, instead it probably funded the prayer party instead.

This law makes no sense to me.  He has made a fast-lane handgun line.  If you are a Texan with a permit to carry a concealed weapon, all you have to do when you want to enter the Capital building in Austin is show your permit and you can bypass the metal detectors without having to show their concealed, top secret gun.  I am sorry, but wouldn't the people who work in the Capital building, including Perry, want to know if someone was coming in with more than just a gun strapped to him.  Post-9/11, I am surprised this law would even be fathomable.  If you're curious, Perry himself packs a .380 Ruger pistol. 

There was one victory this week though and this one is close to my heart.  Earlier this year, a bill was passed in Texas that would mandate that all women who wished to undergo pregnancy termination must present 24 hours before the procedure for an ultrasound.  This ultrasound had to be performed by the physician who would be doing the procedure the following day.  Women would be forced to watch the ultrasound and hear descriptions of the fetus.  In other words, it was just a way to guilt trip and in my opinion, emotionally abuse, these women who were already going through something incredibly upsetting and difficult.  It also would work to deter physicians who practice abortions because it forces them to allow two days out of their schedule to work at an abortion clinic; one day to do ultrasounds (that otherwise would be done by a sonographer) and one day to do procedures. 

After this bill was initially passed (and for the record, Texas wouldn't have been the only state with such a bill), an appeal was immediately filed.  The resolution of this appeal was decided this week.  The ruling still upheld that ultrasounds needed to be performed, but women would not be forced to watch it and hear descriptions.  Perry, of course, was not a fan of this ruling.  He said, "Every life lost to abortion is a tragedy and today’s ruling is a great disappointment to all Texans who stand in defense of life."  He plans to appeal the ruling yet again.

I just hope that, unlike former Texas governor, George W, that Rick Perry doesn't successfully get the chance to run for president.  It disturbs me to know that so far he has become the front-runner in the Republican Party.  In a recent poll he was beating Mitt Romney by 13 points.  I think I'd rather have Sara Palin running the country than Rick Perry.  I seriously will flee the country if he ever gets his bigoted self into the White House.

Cowboys, Guns and Jesus

Today I experienced the Texas trifecta: Guns, Cowboys & Jesus. It started this morning in the doctors lounge at the hospital. I eavesdropped on a conversation between a gynecologist and a few anesthesiologists. This one particular gynecologist has a love for not only vaginas but guns as well. Turns out he even has a federal license to sell guns. He was chatting with these anesthesiologists about the next gun show they'd attend. They excitedly planned out their gun table: the anesthesiologist would be in charge of selling the scopes, they'd have a lovely little glass case for their pistols and they could use some neat little iPhone app to charge the other gun lover's credit cards. I wouldn't be surprised if conversations like this go on all over Texas on any given day, but I perhaps I thought that the more learned brains of physicians wouldn't be sullied by gun fantasies. I suppose I give physicians the benefits of the doubt, thought that maybe they'd rather use their excess cash to fund a medical mission to Africa, take a golf vacation in Scotland, send their kids to private school, or even just pay for a new set of replacement silicone implants for their wives (I always hear that silicone is way more life-like than saline.) I know that its not guns that kill, its people with guns that kill, but I still don't know how one can sleep at night being a firearms vendor. I think I'd feel a sense of responsibility.

Just this past week a 6-year old boy in Houston brought a gun into school. A few days before these doctors discussed their next gun show, flat screen TVs in the very same lounge where they sat today were broadcasting news about this school shooting, wondering if it was done as some sort of copycat shooting during the anniversary of the Columbine massacre in April 11 years ago. I later read in the Houston Chronicle that the 6 year old boy had gotten the gun from some family friend and bought it into school to show off to his friends. He took it out of his pocket and the loaded gun went off by accident. He literally shot himself in the foot and the other bullets ricocheted off the floor and injured a couple other kids. Obviously the irresponsible adults were to blame for leaving a loaded gun accessible to a child. I am sure that the gun-selling doctor would say that if a man wants to buy a gun, he's going to buy it from someone somewhere, so it might as well be from him. I just can't imagine that a vendor wouldn't feel some sort of responsibility knowing that the gun he sold resulted in a death or injury. As much as I try to be open to the idea of gun wielding, I guess I still can't quite support it. I still think guns should be heavily restricted in their sales, use, and ability to be carried. I could easily write a novel on my sentiments of this subject so I shall save that for a later date. Suffice to say, guns are held to be something of a Texas national pride and my liberal ways will likely never warm to this.

I suppose the cowboys all carried guns, and the cowboy ways of old have surely shaped Texans into who they are today. I guess if I lived in a remote cattle ranch a hundred years ago, I might want a gun to defend my land and my cattle from trespassers and predators. Texas is still famous for being the land of cowboys. Every year in March the Houstonians celebrate the Houston Rodeo month by proudly wearing western gear. They have gone as far as calling one particular day "Go Texan Day" where everyone, even hospital staff, dons western clothing head to toe. This year I happened to catch the wagon ride. Dozens of pioneer-type horse drawn wagons rode 100+ miles to arrive in Houston and celebrate their Texan-ness. I'll be the first to admit that I wore my boots with pleasure! The rodeo times of March are behind us now, most of the gear has been placed back in the Texans closets, only to come out for country music concerts or special occasions. I thought of the cowboys today when I was driving behind an over-sized SUV bearing a sticker for the Fellowship of Christian Cowboys. It had a silly slogan, something like "Jesus dun love us too!" The mission of their organization: "Our desire is to use cowboys, cowgirls, and our rich western heritage to reach across this great nation spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ." For a minimum of $45, you two can become an evangelical cowboy! (http://www.christiancowboys.com/index.html)

Jesus-loving cowboys, a perfect transition to the third and final element to the Texas trifecta: God. Religion, namely Christianity, is much more outwardly shared in Texas than the northeast or the west. "God bless" is said often and freely. We have a Jesus TV channel and a Jesus radio station. There are many Jesus loving bumper stickers on the back of pick-up trucks in Texas. I have even seen some vehicles with bilingual Jesus bumper stickers. Crucifix pendants are popular accessories. Houston police direct traffic around the churches on Sunday mornings. We even have mega-churches the size of corporate buildings scattered around town.

Today I had a visit from two Jehovah's witnesses. As I pulled into my driveway I noticed people getting out of a pair of cars. These people were dressed up in ties and business casual clothing. I wondered if they might be there to look at the empty apartment above me. A few moments after there was a knock on the door and there they were. They said that they had seen me pull into the house so they knew I was home...sneaky little bastards! They cut to the chase and told me they were here to tell me about Jehovah. I told them that I was quite familiar with their religion as I have had many patients who are Jehovah's witnesses, refusing blood transfusions for their religious beliefs. The man immediately apologized for that, he said he could understand how frustrating that must be for the medical profession. I told them that I would take their brochure but that I was strongly atheist so there wasn't much they could do.

The younger of the two men had been doing most of the talking up until that point, but the older man stepped up further onto my front stoop to try his hand at saving me from damnation. He asked why I was atheist. I wasn't looking for a three hour discussion so I kept it brief and said that I simply did not think that there was any logical explanation for god and that I also disliked how religions all of the world have killed and maimed in the name of god. They both promised me that Jesus has never killed anyone and was peaceful. They also said that Mohammed was a warrior so that is why Muslims are prone to fighting. The older man asked me how I could explain the complexity of the galaxies and millions of stars in the sky or the beauty in the photographs on my wall if it wasn't made by god. At that time I brought over my bible, Richard Dawkin's "God Delusion", and told him that if he wanted the answers to these questions, he should read this book. I briefly mentioned that Darwinism was central to Dawkin's argument against god. He responded that many people have said that Darwin was wrong. I countered that many have tried to refute Darwin's theory for decades but no one has succeeded in breaking them down. I think we all knew we were fighting a losing battle here. They truly did seem to appreciate my time and I got the feeling that most people throw them off the doorstep before they even get a word out. They left me with their cartoonism Watchtower booklet which has goofy grinning renditions of Jesus, Mary and Martha yucking it up at the resurrection. I also got an additional booklet called "Awake!" The November 2010 edition was all about Atheism. "Is Atheism on the march?" the front cover asked. Other highlights from inside included the following articles, "I was raised an atheist," "Is it appropriate to pray to saints?" and "The Macadamia nut, Australia's native delicacy, as well as a short blurb, "Was it designed? The eye of the peacock mantis shrimp." All sure to be amusing reads. Ahh, the joys of Texas living...